


Wasting Away

by padalelli



Series: Wasting Time [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s02e20 What Is and What Should Never Be, Episode: s03e14 Long Distance Call, Episode: s05e16 Dark Side of the Moon, Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake, Episode: s10e17 Inside Man, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, F/M, series finale spoilers kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padalelli/pseuds/padalelli
Summary: A sequel to Wasting Time.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore
Series: Wasting Time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990027
Comments: 16
Kudos: 26





	1. What Is And What Should Never Be

**Author's Note:**

> This mini-series is basically comprised of all of the episodes we see Dean experience in the series but with the reader's storyline in place.

**April 26th, 2007**  
“I’m sure it’s fine, Sammy. I’m just gonna have a look around.” Dean didn’t wait for Sam to respond before he hung up the phone and headed to the warehouse a couple miles back.  
—  
Dean woke up in some house, a woman face-down in bed beside him. The last thing he remembered was investigating that warehouse… then getting attacked by the Djinn. He gently got out of bed and snuck over to the living room. He was going to call Sam, but then he started looking around, _really_ looking. He was in the house he and [Y/N] had lived in, the one that had burned to ash. He turned on a lamp and walked over to a bookshelf with several framed photos. The one that he picked up was a memory he knew- when [Y/N] made him take her to that state fair. He replaced the photo and looked up at some of the others. There was a photo of a baby, a newborn he assumed to be her. That is, until he saw another photo… it had to be from Halloween, because you were all in costumes. Dean was Han Solo, and [Y/N] was Princess Leia… holding a little baby Chewbacca. _She had our baby_ , Dean thought.  
“Dean?” her voice called from around the corner. “What are you doing up, babe?”  
He turned and stared. She had never looked more beautiful than right now. “[Y/N],” he whispered in disbelief. He now knew that the Djinn had captured him- but he was in a trance. How could he leave this? How could he deny _her_? “I, uh, just thought I heard something in the kitchen,” he lied.  
She approached him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, I didn’t hear anything.” She played with his hair. “Let’s go back to bed. Let me put your mind at ease…” she said seductively.  
He couldn’t resist. He leaned in and kissed her like it was the last time he ever would- because as soon as he could escape the Djinn, he had to. He couldn’t abandon Sam for a fantasy world. She returned the kiss for a while before she leaned back and released him, leading him back to their bedroom. They closed the door and Dean picked her up by the waist and tossed her on the bed, covering her body with his shortly thereafter. She responded enthusiastically, practically tearing his shirt off. “We have to be quiet, though,” she whispered breathily as Dean nibbled at her collarbone. “I don’t wanna wake Nate up.”  
_So it’s a boy… and we named him Nathaniel…_  
—  
Dean woke up still in his dream life, unsure of what to do. He wanted so badly to stay here with her and their child, but how could he? The most pertinent question on his mind, though: does this version of himself hunt? Does this version of her hunt? Could he possibly talk to her about this, or would he have to get out of it on his own? Luckily, he had many ways of checking. But [Y/N] was cuddled up to him too tightly for him to get out of bed. She’s not real, he had to remind himself. But she doesn’t know that.  
He reached over to the nightstand and picked up his phone to see if he could get any information about the dream world he found himself in. _Okay, texts with [Y/N]..._ Most of them had to do with taking care of Nate, dinner, work, normal people stuff. But once he got about six months back, there was clear evidence they had done a job. There was still a recording of an exorcism in his voice memos, too. So they must’ve still met on a hunt, which would mean most of his memories with her are still accurate. The deviation must be the fire… which means the “wish” the Djinn granted Dean was that he had never lost [Y/N]. That also meant that she would understand what happened to him. But would she help him escape?  
[Y/N] started to stir awake. “Morning, cowboy,” she said lazily.  
“Morning, darlin’,” he murmured back.  
“Didn’t you promise me breakfast in bed?” she teased.  
He smiled, remembering the times he had done it. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he joked in return.  
“Shut up. I have too much to worry about with Nate’s birthday party, I don’t need you pretending not to know what’s going on. Come take a shower with me. You gotta pick Sam and Jess up from the airport in a couple of hours.”  
—  
Dean walked back into the house, having retrieved his brother and soon-to-be-sister-in-law from the airport. Apparently in this version, Dean and Sam grew apart when Sam left for college, but recently reconnected in light of John’s death last year. Sam had left hunting for good to be a lawyer and start a family with Jess, and he hadn’t even known about Dean’s own family until almost a year ago. “Okay, so luckily Nate only has three friends, so we aren’t outnumbered,” [Y/N] said as she scurried around the kitchen, making sure the “3” on the cake turned out perfect for their little miracle child, who was sitting in a booster seat at the dining room table and eating cheerios. “Their parents are dropping them off at noon so we have a little less than an hour.”  
“Can I help out at all?” Jess offered.  
“Only if you want,” [Y/N] replied. “I mean I’m sure the boys would be more than happy to sit back and drink beer.”  
“And you’re absolutely right,” Sam said. “Dean and I gotta catch up.”  
“Well fuck you, too, Sam,” [Y/N] joked. “No, it’s fine, I don’t wanna catch up with you either.” Dean couldn’t resist wrapping his arms around her and planting a kiss on her temple. “I’m kidding, Sam. We’ll catch up when the kids are away.”  
—  
The day had been long, but it was full of love. Dean had never been happier. But he knew it all had to come to an end. When he finished cleaning the kitchen, he wandered down the hall and stood in the doorway of the bathroom. [Y/N] was giving Nate a bath, wearing a tank top and a pair of Dean’s boxers, her feet in the water as she sat on the ledge of the tub. Nate was screeching with laughter as his mother created waves around him. Dean just stood there, watching, taking it all in. He knew he wouldn’t get to keep it but he damn sure wasn’t going to forget. “Okay, Nattie, time to wash that hair,” she cooed. Dean left to go to the bedroom. It had become painful, because he knew it would never be real. As much as he wanted it to, it couldn’t be real. He had to tell her. _I can’t do this without her…_  
He heard her pull Nate out of the water and pop the plug to the bath. After a couple of moments he joined her in Nate’s room. She was getting him ready for bed. “Daddy, will you and Mommy read me a story?” the toddler asked Dean, seeing him before her.  
Dean smiled painfully. “Yeah, bud.”  
After they finished _Goodnight Moon_ , Nate successfully asleep, Dean and [Y/N] crept out and back into their own room, retreating into bed.  
“You okay, babe?” she asked him once they settled. “You seemed off back there with bedtime.”  
Dean sighed. “Yeah, I just… I’m about to tell you something… and I really need you to believe me.”  
She furrowed her brow. “Okay… what’s going on?”  
“You’re not… This isn’t real. You died three years ago in a house fire. And Jess died two years ago the same way. Sam and I started hunting together, and I got attacked by a Djinn, and this is my dream world… But I’m dying right now. And I need you to help me find my way back.”  
She shook her head. “What do you mean this isn’t real? I’m not real? Our son isn’t real?”  
“You found out you were pregnant a few days before you were killed.”  
She started shaking. “No, no, I’m real… I know I’m real… I have to be real…”  
“[Y/N], you know about Djinn. You know what they can do. And you know I wouldn’t make this up… I’m so sorry. But if you help me get out of here, I promise I’ll see you again eventually.”  
—  
[Y/N] stood in front of Dean in the warehouse. The same one his real body was dying in. “Please don’t go, Dean… I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” Now that Dean was trying to escape, the Djinn was controlling his dream versions of everyone, to convince him to stay.  
“You can have a long and happy life with her, Dean,” Sam chimed in.  
“Daddy, you gotta stay here and take care of me.” Nate appeared between Dean and [Y/N].  
“I’m sorry, buddy,” Dean whimpered before turning around and stabbing himself with the blood-dipped blade.  
—  
“Dean!” Sam shouted at his brother. When he saw Dean’s eyes open, he reached up and cut the ropes around Dean’s bloodied wrists. “Come on, Dean, stay with me.” Sam dragged his brother out of the warehouse and back to the Impala, having already taken care of the Djinn.  
When Dean woke back up, Sam had gotten them into a motel room and treated Dean’s wounds. “Thanks for saving me, Sammy. Although if it weren’t for my dumb ass, you wouldn’t have had to. And for that I’m sorry,” Dean told his sibling.  
“It’s no big deal. You would’ve done the same for me if the roles were reversed… Hey, what did it make you see?”  
Dean snickered. “A life where [Y/N] and Jess didn’t die in those housefires. And I had a kid. And I was happy.”


	2. Long Distance Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new monster uses the memory of the reader to torture Dean.

**May 1st, 2008**  
Dean hung up his call with Sam, but the phone started ringing again. “Yeah, what? … Sam?” Dean asked as he answered the phone.   
_“Dean?”_ a woman’s voice replied from the other end. _“Dean, is that you?”_  
Dean’s eyes widened. “[Y/N]?”  
—  
“You really think it was her?” Sam asked his brother.   
“I don’t know. She just said my name. Then the call dropped out.” Dean sassed back.   
“Why would she even call in the first place?”  
“I don’t know, why would any ghost call anybody living? I mean it’s happening to other people in town, why can’t it happen to us?” Dean paused. “What do I say if she calls again?”   
Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. Hello?”  
Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Hello?” Dean grabbed his stuff and headed for the door. “Hello,” he grumbled as he left.   
—  
The phone rang again later that night from “SHA33”. “[Y/N]?” Dean answered as he went outside.   
_“Dean,”_ she replied.  
“Is it really you?”   
_“It’s me, babe.”_  
“How can I be sure?”  
 _“You can’t… Dean, how could you sell your soul? You promised me we would be together. We can’t be together if you’re in Hell, Dean.”_  
“I’m sorry, honey, I had to save Sam.”  
 _“I know. But you were supposed to be with me. How could you leave me?”_  
“[Y/N] … it wasn’t like that, you know it wasn’t.”  
 _“You knew what you were doing when you sold your soul. Don’t tell me it wasn’t ‘like that’.”_  
Dean took a deep breath and hung up.   
—  
The next time Dean saw a call from the number, he couldn’t help but pick up. He knew who would be on the other side. He had to hear her voice. “[Y/N]?”  
 _“Dean. I didn’t think you’d answer.”_  
“I wanted to hear your voice.”  
 _“There’s a way for you to do more than just listen to me.”_  
“What? What are you talking about?”  
 _“You could come be with me.”_  
“How?”  
 _“If you get to yourself before the Hellhounds get to you, why couldn’t you be with me in Heaven?”_  
“[Y/N], you know that’s not how it works…”  
 _“Baby, just die so you can be with me already. You remember all the fun times we had… saving people, hunting things… we did some other things, too, didn’t we, Dean?”_ Her voice turned sultry.   
“You don’t know that that’s going to work. What if I die for nothing? Then you couldn’t watch over me anymore.”  
 _“You think I like watching you hunt with someone else? Watching you fuck oth-“_ Dean hung up.   
—  
Sam was closing in on the creature when Dean got one final call from the number. “What?” Dean answered.   
_“Oh, wow, I thought you loved me. Why so harsh?”_ She still sounded soothing and calm.   
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know if I can do this anymore.”  
 _“Do what anymore? Talk to me? Why not? Don’t you miss me?”_  
“I do, you know I do. But you… I can’t be with you. I am so so sorry for what I did… I just didn’t think…”  
 _“No, you didn’t think!”_ she yelled at him. _“I’m dead because of you, and you don’t even fucking think about me!”_  
“I do think about you, [Y/N], I think about you every goddamn day!”  
 _“You should just kill yourself and get it over with. I don’t even care if-“_ the voice on the other end cut off.  
Dean heard the phone fall to the ground, followed by some gurgling, then rustling before Sam’s voice came through. “Hello?”  
“Sam? Wh… where are you? How’d you get the line?” Dean asked.   
“Dean, how many times did you talk to the crocotta?”  
—  
“I’m sorry it wasn’t her,” Sam said to Dean after it was all over.  
“No, you were right.”  
“Forget about it.”   
“I wanted to believe so badly that it was her. I would’ve done anything to get her back. To be with her, if I had to. Now that I’m up against Hell it doesn’t seem like it would be such a bad thing. There’s gotta be a way out of this. I can’t go to Hell, Sammy. The truth is I’m terrified. And I made a promise to a dead woman that I can’t even keep…” He scoffed. “I can’t even die right, Sam.”


	3. Dark Side of the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally get more precious time with Dean.

**April 1st, 2010**  
Sam and Dean had just emerged from Dean’s memory of Mary cutting the crusts off his sandwiches. They were wandering through the woods when they were ambushed by angels. The brothers were failing to fight them when a woman with a bandana serving as a face mask came out of nowhere and saved them. Dean felt like he recognized her, but Sam was completely lost. She made a gesture to follow her and took off through the woods. They eventually got to a point in the trees where she opened a doorway, almost a portal, into another part of Heaven. This one was a house. One that Dean knew very well, but Sam had never been to. The woman locked the door/portal behind her before removing the bandana.  
“[Y/N],” Dean said.  
“Listen, I know it’s been six years, but I still expected you to last longer,” you replied smugly.  
“Wait, _the_ [Y/N]?” Sam asked.  
“In the flesh. Well, kind of. Just as much flesh as you, at least,” you told him. “Nice to finally meet you, Sam. Although I wish it were under different circumstances.”  
“So this is Heaven?” Dean asked.  
You went to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. “Sort of. This is _my_ Heaven. Everyone gets their own little slice.”  
“So how did you find us?” Sam asked.  
“Oh, as soon as Dean got here, I knew where to find him,” you said.  
“What do you mean?” Dean chimed in.  
“Well… our souls are mated… so… I mean that’s really the best way to explain it. Mated souls can share Heavenly experiences. But, you guys aren’t supposed to be here yet. Which is why I’m here to navigate you back to where you’re supposed to be.” Dean couldn’t stop staring at you. You would’ve been the same way if you hadn’t been peeping in on him every once in a while. “Hey, Sam, would you mind if I took Dean and spoke to him in private for a few minutes?” you asked. “Don’t worry, you guys should be safe here, at least for a while.”  
“Yeah, no, go ahead,” Sam replied.  
You led Dean to your bedroom. “It’s been a long time,” you told him. He remained silent, in shock almost, but his head nodded slightly. You weren’t sure what to say. “You look good… I mean, for a hunter who lived to see thirty.”  
“I’m sorry for what happened to you…” Dean said.  
“Don’t be… I didn’t give you the information that would’ve helped save me… it’s my own fault.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
You sighed. “Azazel. I should’ve told you about him sooner. And I should’ve told you what those demons did to me all those years ago. But I didn’t.”  
“Don’t. Don’t blame yourself. It’s my fault. It happened to my mom when I was little… it happened to Sam’s girlfriend not long after you… It’s all my fault.”  
You walked up to him and held his face in your hands. “Don’t say that,” you whispered. You glanced down and sighed. “Listen, I know that as a hunter I may be contradicting myself when I say this: it’s God’s fault. And I can tell you more when we go rejoin Sam, because it’s some stuff you guys both need to know. But right now, I get to be with you before you go back to the land of the living.”  
Dean nodded and leaned in to kiss you. How he had longed for so long to kiss those lips again, to feel the real you in his arms again. “I missed you so much,” Dean breathed.  
“Dean, you don’t get to stay here with me. Not yet. It’s not your time,” you told him.  
“Come back with us. If we can go back, you can too, right?”  
“Baby, it doesn’t work like that… I don’t belong there anymore.” Dean knew it was impossible, but he had to hear you tell him. “Please, let’s just give ourselves to each other for a little while now… I know I’ll see you again, Dean. But right now I want to cherish the time that you’re here for… please…” Dean nodded and resumed kissing you.  
—  
Sam noticed it had been more than a few minutes before they came back, but he occupied himself in [Y/N]’s study, looking around at what she had chosen to keep in her Heaven. The bookshelf held a mix of normal literature and hunter literature- primarily books about magic and witchcraft. Her desk had several framed pictures of Dean, the rest was covered in a mess of journals full of drawings and writings. _This must be what she does with her eternity up here…_  
“Okay, so there’s a couple things that I gotta tell you guys. But I can’t tell you anything else, other than the words that come out of my mouth, so no questions, okay?” You said to the boys. They nodded. “God has a plan for you. You guys have a general idea of what’s going on. I myself do not know what that plan is. All I know is that he has a plan for the two of you. I’m sure I was part of it, as well as Mary and Jessica. I’m also sure that whatever you end up doing next is a part of it. I don’t think that you should try to figure out what this plan is or if you can fight it. This is God we are talking about here, so I’m willing to bet that the more you fight it the worse it will get. And that’s not coming from anyone else, that’s coming from me. That’s my advice to you moving forward. Do what you have to do to survive.”  
“We’re not saying yes,” Dean said.  
“I’m actually not talking about Lucifer and Michael. Do whatever you think is best. I’m talking about _after_ Lucifer and Michael are in the cage,” you revealed.  
“What do you mean?” Sam asked.  
“I’m sorry, Sam. I said no questions. And your time here is almost up.”  
Dean turned you to face him and pulled you close. “I don’t want to leave without you.”  
You pressed your hand to his face. “I know. I don’t want you to leave at all. But I’ll be here when you come back for good.”  
“What’ll you do until then?”  
“The same thing I’ve been doing. Dean, it’s Heaven. You don’t need to worry about me as if I’m some lonely woman waiting for her husband to return from the war. I’m happy here. I’ll be happier when you can be here with me, but I’m in no rush for that to happen.”  
Dean nodded. “Okay.”  
You pulled yourself away and went over to Sam. “Could I talk to you alone for a sec?” you whispered.  
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Sam followed you out of the kitchen and back into the study. “What’d you wanna talk about?”  
“Listen, Sam… I know you’re his brother, and you’ve known him all his life… but I’m… I’m like his Jessica.” Your voice cracked. “So when I ask you to please protect him for me… it’s not because I don’t think you already will… but because I love him so deeply that I have to say it out loud.”  
Sam nodded. “Of course, of course I’ll protect him… [Y/N], when I saved him from a Djinn… it was you he wished for. It was you he dreamt about… And when… when a Crocotta targeted him, it was you it imitated… Look what I’m trying to say is that I know what you mean to each other. And if I get to see Jess up here one day, I hope it’s the same day you see Dean return.”  
You nodded and hugged the gentle giant. “Thank you, Sam.”  
He lightly hugged you back. “Anything for family,” he murmured.  
You went back into the kitchen to say your goodbyes before you sent Dean and his brother on their way. “Be careful out there, Dean. I don’t wanna see you come back too soon,” you told him. “You too, Sam.” Dean rushed over to kiss you one last time before you opened the door for them to move on.


	4. The French Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns about many fake counterparts in The French Mistake episode

**February 18th, 2011**  
Sam and Dean had gotten themselves as far as their fake selves’ private car and driver. “So Jared, where am I dropping you off tonight?” Cliff asked the men.  
Sam had no clue how to respond. “Uh, I’m just gonna ride back with… uh, Jensen…” he replied.  
“Since when are you two talking?” Cliff chortled.  
Sam and Dean looked at each other. Sam shrugged. “We’re just gonna do some, uh… actor stuff. Go over lines and whatnot,” Dean tried to come up with an excuse.  
Cliff scoffed and said, “Okay, sure.”  
A while later the car pulled up to a small mansion, presumably belonging to whoever Jensen Ackles was. Sam and Dean got out of the SUV and walked into the house, taking in the strange environment. “Jensen? Babe, is that you?” called a woman’s voice from across the home.  
“You didn’t check to see if he was married?” Dean hissed at Sam.  
“Me? It’s fake you! Why is it my job to look into it?” Sam whispered back angrily, smacking Dean on the arm.  
“Babe?” the voice called again, slightly closer this time.  
The brothers could hear the faint sound of her footsteps. “Uh, yeah, it’s me. I’m home,” Dean said in a panic, hoping she might retreat.  
Instead when she came into view, he saw a face that was all too familiar, and a few years too old. She was barefoot, wearing leggings, a v-neck, and a flour covered apron. Her eyes went first to Dean, then to Sam, before smiling. “Oh! It’s nice to see you guys talking again. Jared, can I get you anything to drink or snack on? I’m in the middle of baking some bread, but I can heat up some leftovers…” she trailed off, noticing the boys staring at her.  
_Even in this world, she’s with me,_ Dean thought to himself. But what was fake [Y/N]’s name?  
Sam’s voice interrupted Dean’s train of thought. “I’m good, thanks,” he told the woman.  
“Okay, well, if you change your mind you know where I’ll be. Jay, I’ll greet you properly once I’m not covered in flour,” she winked at Dean before walking away, presumably returning to the kitchen.  
Sam and Dean looked at each other. “We need to find out her name, first things first, so I suggest we find a computer and do some research on fake us,” Sam spoke in a hushed tone.  
“I’m so confused,” Dean said in a daze. _How could she possibly be here?_ Sam began exploring the house, looking for an office or a study, Dean trudging behind.  
When they located what appeared to be the designated work space of the house, Sam started up the computer monitor and went to work. “Okay… so it looks like she was a special guest star that played [Y/N] in the Djinn storyline and other flashbacks… she and Fake You hit it off on set and now you are engaged,” Sam told Dean.  
“Yeah, that’s great and all but what do I call her?” Dean replied.  
“Um… you’re still gonna have to call her [Y/N]...” Sam said hesitantly.  
“What? The hell do you mean?”  
“Well, uh… it looks like the actress’ name is also [Y/N]... full name [Y/N] Spencer.”  
Dean groaned frustratedly. “Why is that somehow worse than making me call her some stranger’s name?”  
“Everything okay guys?” her voice called from the kitchen.  
“Yeah, just… acting…?” Dean shouted back.  
After a silent moment Sam said, “Hey, you should go scope this place out for anything we could possibly use to get back to our world. I’m going to see what I can scrape up on that spell Balthazar cast to throw us in here.”  
“Fine,” Dean muttered before wandering the halls. He had just finished moseying around on the first floor when he saw [Y/N] heading up the stairs. “Hey,” he said hesitantly. “Hey, uh, [Y/N]...”  
She paused where she was halfway up the staircase and turned around. “Uh oh, am I in trouble?” she asked. _Goddammit how can she literally be the same person? Well, now I get why she got the part_ , he thought.  
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, honey, of course not.” He met her on the step just below hers and let her wrap her arms around him. He couldn’t resist-- just like he couldn’t resist the Djinn version or the Crocatta version of her. Just like he savored the time he got with the real version of her in their little slice of Heaven. He knew she would understand. His love for her transcended an endless number of possibilities-- it always would, their souls were mated.  
“So why are you calling me [Y/N] instead of fiancee?” she teased, carding her fingers through his hair. Dean smiled, unsure how to respond. “Come on,” she beckoned, then leaned in to whisper in his ear. “I’m sure Jared can wait a few minutes… Besides, I’ve been waiting almost two weeks for us to get some time together to be intimate… And you did not give me fair warning about Jared coming over.” She said the last sentence sternly.  
_Damn, Fake Me hasn’t been intimate with Fake [Y/N] in two weeks? Aren’t people supposed to be hornier during the engagement stage? Well, I can’t raise any more suspicion than I surely already have…_ So when she pulled him in for a kiss, he had no problem leaning into it. And when she led him upstairs and into the bedroom, he didn’t have a problem with that either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter before the finale today and you’ll get another one tomorrow after I watch it! Comment if you want me to extend the series into a 3rd part after the final chapter of Wasting Away is finished!


	5. Inside Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re in Heaven minding your business when you hear Sam Winchester’s voice on the tv.

**April 1st, 2015**  
“I don’t know, Sam… Maybe someone else should be your inside man. I’m a bit rusty…” Bobby said to the staticky old radio in his Heaven. “What about Dean’s old flame? It’s him we’re talking about, I’m sure she’d be happy to do it.”  
Sam thought back to when he and Dean died and went to Heaven. [Y/N] had clearly already figured out how to navigate the place— maybe she would be more helpful than Bobby. But how would she feel about the fact that Sam was going behind Dean’s back? In that regard, he had no idea how she might react… he had only met her the one time, but she seemed understanding enough… “Actually, you know what Bobby, you may be right there. I’ll see if we can get in touch with her… You wouldn’t happen to know her last name, would you?”  
“It should be [Y/L/N]. Her dates up here would be 1980-2004.” Sam could hear the sadness in Bobby’s voice when he recalled how young she was when she died. She’d had over a decade of Heaven without Dean, and Bobby was a fairly new arrival— having spent far more time on Earth than she did. “I’m sure she could get this done much more discreetly than I could.” His gravelly voice added.   
“Yeah… thanks, Bobby.” Sam was hesitant to say goodbye.   
“No need, Sam. You just do what you gotta do to save Dean.”  
—  
You were seated at your desk in your little Heaven, sketching and writing out your feelings, desperately worried about Dean considering he was a demon not long ago. All of a sudden, your tv turned on, but rather than getting to peek in on Dean, it was all static. Someone with a deep voice called your name from the other side. It sounded somewhat familiar, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint how. “Hello?” you replied, confused.   
“[Y/N], this is Sam Winchester… I was hoping to get your help.”   
_Sam… Dean must be in trouble if Sam is getting in touch with me…_ you thought to yourself. “What do you need me to do?” Your tone was determined.   
“Um, that depends. Do you still know your way around up there?” Sam asked.  
“Am I dead?” You asked rhetorically. “Course I do. Granted, security up here has certainly gotten tighter over the years, especially recently.”  
Sam nodded, wondering exactly how much she was caught up. “So what all do you know?” He asked.  
“Well… I’m pretty caught up, to say the least…”   
Sam heard a sense of anger, sadness, and fear in your tone all at the same time, and knew that you had seen Demon Dean from your place in Heaven. Sam sighed sadly. “Yeah, so…” He trailed off.   
Then another, even rougher yet more formal tone spoke up. “Are you familiar with a scribe called Metatron?”   
“Uh, I mean I guess I’ve heard it tossed around. Why?” you replied.   
“We need someone on the inside to open the gate to Earth for us so Cas can get Metatron out,” Sam told you.   
You presumed ‘Cas’ was the other one with him. You had seen the angel with Dean every once in a while when you peeked in on him, but you weren’t too familiar. “Wait, you want to get him _out_?” You asked confused as to how that would help Dean.  
Cas spoke up again. “We think he has information on how to rid Dean of the Mark of Cain.”  
You nodded, having seen what the mark had already done to Dean. “Okay, so how do I open the gate to Earth?”   
“Can you still get out of your own Heaven with the extra security up there?” Sam asked.   
“Yeah, but only if I go straight to someone else’s Heaven. I can’t just wander around aimlessly without getting caught.”  
Castiel and Sam looked at each other, judging from the silence. “If the angels identify her as the escapee, they certainly will punish her somehow. If you want Dean to see her in the afterlife, we can’t be noticed,” Cas said.  
You didn’t care what it cost, even if it meant your little Heaven would turn into a little Hell after this— even if it meant losing an eternity with Dean, you couldn’t let him continue in his current path on Earth. “I don’t care about getting caught,” you admitted. “We just need to save Dean.”  
“[Y/N], if you—“   
You interrupted Sam. “I said I don’t care.”   
“You still need to be as discreet as possible. This won’t mean much if the rest of the angels catch on and foil our plans.” Sam told you.  
“Okay, so how do you expect me to keep a low profile?”   
“We think your best bet will be to get as close as you can to the beginning of the alphabet and into a Heaven close to the door. From there, you’ll need to find the secret exit and go to door 42,” Castiel said.  
You nodded, strategizing. “Any recommendations on some Heavens that will get me close?” you asked, sighing outwardly.   
Castiel huffed. _That can’t be promising_ , you thought. “Just try to think of someone you at least know about so that you can navigate yourself there,” Sam suggested.   
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.” You scanned your brain for possible leads. _Top of the alphabet… someone I may know…_ That’s when it came to you. You had known a hunter, Aaron Abernathy. You’d met him while you were away from Dean for those few weeks, and given it was over a decade later, you could probably safely assume that he was dead. Most hunters made it to Heaven— unless they made a crossroads deal, that is.   
You had been terrified when you thought Dean was condemned to Hell forever, even more so when Dean disappeared off of the face of the Earth for a year, and you had absolutely despised seeing him when he was a demon. You still hated seeing him given what the Mark of Cain was doing to him. He wasn’t the Dean you had fallen in love with all those years ago— granted, you were ecstatic when he killed Hitler. And although those years hadn’t felt that long to you, they tortured Dean. You were watching God’s plan for him play out, and you had a feeling you were part of the entertainment. You suspected he was doing the same to John, Mary, and Jessica. Maybe even more souls.   
Sam interrupted your train of thought. “[Y/N]?” His voice came through the tv.   
“Yeah, yeah, I got someone.” You pulled your thoughts together. “Castiel, do I finally get to meet you formally?” you asked.   
“I’m not sure, [Y/N]. I do hope that is the case, but my priority is that you can safely return to your Heaven undetected.” Castiel replied.  
“Understood,” you said, nodding. “Well, I guess I’ll see you on the other side, then.”   
You heard Sam chuckle. “Yeah. Not too soon I hope,” he told you.   
“Thanks for looking out for D-“ The tv turned back off. “Dean…” you said to finish your thought. “Guess that’s my cue.”  
You began pulling books off the shelves in your office, along with the supplies you’d need to get to Aaron Abernathy’s Heaven. After preparing the spell, you drew a sigil onto the front door and walked through. At first all you saw was white, until you found yourself inside of a bar. You could only assume it was the hunters’ roadhouse. Then you saw Aaron at the bar, sitting alone. “Aaron,” you said softly, not wanting to startle him.   
His head perked up after hearing someone call his name, and his head just barely turned in your direction. “Is that [Y/N] [L/N] I hear?” he responded.   
You sat on the stool beside him. “Sure is, buddy.” He looked at you and reached over to hug you with the arm nearest you, a smile on his face. “I knew you’d make it up here.”  
He released his hold on you. “I’m so sorry about what happened to you. I can’t imagine dying that way.”  
You shook your head. “Why, what happened to you?” you asked, wondering how dying at the hands of any other monster would have been better than burning alive.   
“Leviathan.”   
_Yep, that would do it._ “Wish I could say I knew much about them,” you told him. “Anyway, I’m just popping in as a shortcut. I may need your help, though…”   
“Why? What are you doing?”  
“Dean Winchester has something called the Mark of Cain. And I need to open the gate to Earth so his angel friend can get some information on how to get rid of it. It should be close by, but I need to open the door out of your Heaven so I can get to it. But we need to open as many doors near you as possible so that the angels don’t find out it was us who opened the gate.”   
You watched Aaron’s face as he processed the information, seeming to accept it. “Okay. So how do we leave my Heaven?” Was his only question.   
“It could be lots of things. An uneven floorboard, a cracked window, a crooked doorway. Have you noticed anything imperfect?” You replied.  
“Just that draft tap.”   
“What draft tap?” you asked. He pointed ahead to the wall of beer taps. One was tilted back slightly. You got up from the barstool and walked around to the other side of the bar, pulling the handle back in line with the rest. Then the cooler door opened, another wall of light behind it. Aaron followed you out into the hall of Heaven, a siren going off as soon as you stepped in the hall. “You go open a bunch of random doors. I’ll look for that gate to Earth.”  
Aaron nodded. “Good luck,” he said before you ran your separate ways.   
The first numbered door you saw was 95, so you ran until you found 42 before turning the handle. A moment later, Castiel slid through the doorway, covered in sand. “Cas,” you greeted him before holding your hand out to help him stand up.   
“[Y/N], get back to your Heaven. I’ll find Metatron.”  
“I don’t know if I can without a blood sigil,” you replied. “Besides, I think I can help you get to the prison cells.”  
“No, [Y/N], Dean needs you when he gets here,” Cas said gruffly.   
“He won’t make it here if you can’t get the mark off of him,” you argued. “You’ll escort me back to my Heaven yourself after you get what you came here for to help Dean.”   
Castiel obviously knew he was just wasting time trying to argue with you, so he stopped altogether. “Fine.”   
“So why didn’t Dean come with you to contact me?” you asked him as you made your way to the cells.   
“He doesn’t know exactly what we’re doing.”  
You glared at Cas. “Why the hell not?”   
It took Cas a moment to figure out what to say. “He’s too unpredictable.”   
You had been trying to avoid looking down at Dean nonstop after the Demon fiasco. When you did look down at him, you generally were ashamed of the Dean you did see. You knew it was just the mark, that he was still the man you fell in love with over a decade ago, but it didn’t mean you wanted to see the reality of the situation. So you understood completely when Castiel decided to use the word unpredictable.   
“Well, well, well, look who it is…” Metatron’s voice echoed when you and Castiel reached his cell. “Asstiel… And you… you’re Dean Winchester’s soulmate…” He looked pleasantly surprised as he said it. “Wonder what that must be like.” He raised his eyebrows.   
“Shut the fuck up and tell the angel what you know about the mark,” you replied bluntly. You’d be damned if you let God’s scribe taunt you in the afterlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know many of you are upset about the finale, and I’m sorry fam. My only grievance is the lack of Eileen, personally. But I will do my best to bring you all justice!


	6. Carry On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally meets you in Heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I waited until after I watched the series finale last night to write this chapter. Given that the finale went about how I expected (along with some more than minor disappointments), this chapter was able to turn out how I wanted it to. I did do some minor fixing, though because certain characters deserved better.

**Heaven, 2020.**  
You were sitting by the lake, taking in the new Heaven that Jack and Castiel had created. You weren’t just in your own little slice anymore— everyone you loved was close by and you were no longer trapped in an endless loop of memories. You heard a set of footsteps behind you, and you knew. _Dean’s finally here_. You stood up and ran to him, jumping into his arms. Dean held you tight and buried his face in your neck, taking in the scent. Neither of you spoke, you just held each other.  
When you finally let go of each other, you looked into his eyes. “I’m so proud of you,” you told him. Of course, it hadn’t felt like you’d been in Heaven for over a decade— time passed differently here. But you watched him finally get to write his own story for once, and he went out saving people and hunting things.  
He kissed you longingly before saying, “I’m sorry.”  
“We’ve been over this. There was nothing you could’ve done. But I’m here now, and you’re here now, and we have the rest of eternity together.”  
Dean shook his head. “What about everyone else though?”  
“Don’t worry about them. You can keep an eye on Sam, if you want. Just like I kept an eye on you. But everyone is here. Bobby, the Harvelles, your parents… Castiel.”  
His eyes widened at the mention of the angel. “Where is he?” he asked.  
“He’s around. I’m sure we’ll see him at some point. Then you can thank him and… say whatever else you need to say…” Dean looked confused. “I know he’s been the one taking care of you while I’ve been gone. I know he saved you from the Empty so that you could take down Chuck and write your own story. I know about everything he’s done for you. And he deserves to know that you love him, too.”  
“Not the way I love you,” he said.  
You nodded. “I know. It’s more like the way you love Sam, the way you love everyone you try to save. But he still deserves to know. So the next time we see him, you need to sit down and talk.” Dean nodded. “You really still love me?” you asked.  
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked obliviously.  
You sighed painfully. “Things got so messed up between us.”  
Dean placed a kiss on your lips. “Everything in my life got messed up. You were one of the best parts.”  
“Even wh—”  
He didn’t let you finish saying the words he knew were about to come out of your mouth. “Especially then.”  
“And Lisa? Didn’t I tell you not to fall in love like that again?” You tried to make it sound like a joke, but your voice was too pained.  
“Baby, I’ve never been in love with anyone the way I am in love with you,” he murmured, and you loved the fact that he was still using the present tense.  
“Doesn’t change how it all played out…” You had felt so guilty about Lisa and Ben because they were exactly what you were worried would happen, and you had tried to prevent it with your voicemail to Dean before you died.  
“It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re here together now.” Dean pulled you in for another kiss. “Take me home.”  
You smiled and took his hand, leading him back the way he came. He grinned from ear to ear when he turned around and saw the impala. You looked at him. “Why don’t you drive us there?”  
Dean just about ran to the car, with you trailing not far behind. You climbed in next to him and scooted close. “Where is it?” he asked, his hands already on the wheel.  
You chuckled. “Just start driving. You’ll know the way,” you told him.  
A few minutes of a gorgeous drive later, he pulled into the carport of your old house, the Heaven version. He was about to get out of the car when you pulled him in for a tender kiss. Dean instantly melted into your touch and kissed you back, taking his time, time that he had never gotten when you were on Earth together. Dean traced his tongue across your lips and you pulled back for air. “What?” he asked.  
“Let’s get into the house,” you breathed.  
Dean carried you into the living room and laid you down on the couch, hovering over you. You tangled your hands in his hair and pulled him against you, kissing him more roughly this time. He started to fumble with your clothing when you leaned back and smiled. “What?” he asked curiously.  
“Wanna see something cool?” you replied. When he raised an eyebrow, you snapped your fingers and you were both naked in front of each other.  
Dean looked down in amazement and chuckled. “Okay, that’s really fuckin’ awesome,” he mused before turning his attention back to your lips.  
And then he was absolutely worshipping your body with his. He kissed down your neck, down the rest of your body until his mouth finally sealed itself around that little bundle of nerves, slicking you up. “Oh, Dean…” you moaned, digging your nails into the couch cushions. Once he was satisfied with his work, he crawled back up to you and pushed into you. He made a sound you had never heard him make before, a sound of not just relief, but pure content. He had nothing to worry about anymore. His time fighting was finally over, and now he could spend eternity with the ones he loved. You could see the happiness in his eyes as he started moving in and out of you. _Holy shit, he’s never made love to me like this before. This really is Heaven…_ you thought to yourself. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and raked your nails down his back, knowing how much he loved the feeling. Dean pulled your legs up over his shoulders and slowed his pace, making sure you felt every inch of him while he made love to you. You’d never made this much eye contact with him during sex on Earth, but you were practically drowning in those emerald green eyes of his now. It felt like he was looking at you the same way, thinking about you the same way, like there were magnets pulling you two together, like you were two halves of the same whole. “Oh, baby, right there,” you whined, feeling yourself get closer and closer to the edge.  
“Yeah?” He murmured seductively, kissing and sucking at your neck. A few more thrusts and you felt the tingle of warmth that started in your core shoot up your spine, and you were releasing onto Dean. “Holy shit,” he breathed against your skin, riding out your tremors.  
You giggled. “I’ve been wondering what that would be like once you got here.”  
He laughed. “You mean it wasn’t always Heavenly in the literal sense?” You shook your head and gazed into his eyes, once again finding the man you fell in love with. “Come on.” He sat up, pulling you with him. “Let’s go waste some time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have officially decided to do a third part to this fic series, and I will start writing it as soon as I rewatch seasons 11-14.


End file.
